Healing is not Linear, by Nina Kosubevsky

Many of my clients arrive at our first session carrying a quiet but powerful expectation: that healing should follow a straight, predictable path. They hope that once they begin therapy, whether to address anxiety, navigate a major life transition, rebuild self-worth after perfectionism has worn them down, or strengthen relationships strained by misunderstanding. You come in thinking that your progress will be steady and upward. When it is not steady, upward progress, disappointment can set in. Setbacks feel like failure. Days of clarity give way to old patterns. The anxiety returns. Sleep becomes restless again. And the questions, “Am I doing this wrong?” or “Am I going back in progress?” arise.

I want to offer you the same gentle reminder that I often share in session and that I keep visible every day in my office. Personal and professional growth, just like healing, is not linear. I am such an avid believer in that concept that I have a poster of it on my wall.

So to the idea that we will always heal upward, I always say, “Healing is not linear.”

So how can I know when I am “healed”?

Healing looks different for everyone, yet one thing remains consistent: you will have periods when you feel “cured,” as though nothing is wrong, and the next week you might wake up feeling as though everything is burning down. What determines how far you have come is what you do in that moment. Are you talking yourself into a walk to clear your mind, or are you driving to the nearest store for an unhealthy escape? You know you are making progress when you are able to reach for the skills we have practiced before turning first to old, unhealthy patterns. You catch yourself in moments of negative self-talk and immediately replace it with something compassionate and true. Sometimes it is simply recognizing that you need to ask for help again, especially if you have a history of chronic avoidance.

Healing is not a straight line from pain to peace.

It is more like a spiral staircase: you circle back to familiar territory, yet each time you do, you arrive at a slightly higher vantage point. What felt insurmountable months ago now reveals new layers of understanding. A trigger that once derailed an entire day now lasts only an hour. A goal that once seemed impossible becomes achievable through smaller, more sustainable steps.

This non-linear reality does not mean we abandon effort or structure. Quite the opposite.

When healing feels non-linear, I encourage my clients to adopt these compassionate practices:

1. Keep up with your coping skills. Just because you were feeling good does not mean it is time to stop. It means it is time to use them more often—because they are working. When you feel yourself entering a downturn, that is precisely when your coping skills can be most helpful.
2. Accept that this is normal and it is okay to have a setback. Use more compassionate language when speaking to yourself. Instead of “I’ve failed again,” try “This is part of the process I was warned about.” Naming the setback without self-judgment reduces shame and restores your sense of agency.
3. Look back at past journal prompts. Did you go through something similar before? Was there a specific practice that really helped? Even simply remembering that you have faced something hard and come through it can remind you that you can do so again.
4. Try something different. Our minds can often fall into familiar patterns, and sometimes, those patterns need to be interrupted for us to experience change. One way to break out of patterns is to do something entirely new, whether that’s a hobby or even a new food, to spark a change and change your trajectory.
5. Seek support when the path curves downward. You are not meant to navigate every turn alone. Therapy, or even reaching out to a trusted person, provides a steady presence that reminds you of the progress already made and equips you with fresh strategies for the next ascent.

If you are a current or former client reading this, please know that returning to therapy during a plateau or setback is not a step backward. It is often the very action that can help lift you out of the funk you might find yourself in. Many of the individuals I have had the privilege of working with report that their most meaningful growth occurred precisely when they chose to re-engage rather than withdraw.

Healing isn’t linear, but it is always possible to heal. The poster on my wall serves as a daily affirmation of hope: the path may wind, yet it leads forward. You are not alone on it.

If these words resonate and you would like to explore how we might walk this path together, whether for the first time or as a returning client, our intake coordinator is ready to assist. Feel free to call us at (561) 472-0397, ext 0 to set up an appointment today.