Choosing Change: Life’s Many Twists & Turns
Life is a funny thing, with its many twists and random turns. If you had told me three years ago that I would writing this blog, I would have certainly thought you as mad as the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland! And yet, here I sit putting these words to proverbial paper. We are constantly faced with decisions, some small and some quite large, and those choices often determine the course upon which we are set. Often, those littler choices lead us to down roads we never could have imagined possible. Every moment is an opportunity, then, for growth and change. Every decision, every action, everything. That concept is at the heart of this post.
Allow me if you will, to share this parable. Once, there was a boy. He wanted to give his mother something for Mother’s Day, (which is just a month away as of this writing) but had very little money. He decided to go out into the garden and pick the prettiest flowers he could find to make his mother a bouquet. Then, he searched through the closet until he found some ribbon and cut a piece off to make a bow for them. When he proudly presented the bouquet to his mother, she was overjoyed with his gift. It was only later that she realized he had pulled her best roses and tulips from her garden and clipped the ribbon off the dress she had saved up to purchase for months. Knowing the boy’s intentions, she chose not to tell him about the consequences until he was much older, and the little boy grew up to be a kind, thoughtful man because of it.
That little boy could hardly have known that his decisions could cause so much internal grief for his mother. His actions were an act of love. His decisions, thoughtful and kind. Nonetheless, they had a deep effect on his mother. She chose to respond with kindness, love, and mercy. Her decisions, equally, had a deep effect on her son. Each action and its subsequent response helped shape who that boy would become. It also helped shape his mother’s character as well.
The Beauty of Decisions
That’s the beauty of choosing change! You may find yourself in a place you don’t want to be. Maybe you’re struggling with depression. You might just find yourself unhappy with where you find yourself lately. Maybe you’re not happy at work. Like nothing you do seems to get you the promotion you’ve been working towards. Perhaps you’ve been struggling with your relationship for some time and don’t feel as though anything is improving. It may even be the case that you’re struggling with procrastination, studying, or your eating habits. Whatever the situation, you can make the decision today to change your habits, your lifestyle, and your life.
Your past decisions don’t have to define you. While they may have helped shape the place in which you now find yourself, you are so much more than the sum of your decisions. That boy is more than just an ignorant child who cut down his mother’s favourite roses. He is thoughtful and caring. He is eager and innovative. He is so much more than simply a child who pulled up some roses, just as you are so much more than the person who wasn’t faithful in their marriage, dealt with sobriety issues, or lost their job because they struggled to get out of bed in the morning.
You can choose to change the way you act if your previous actions have caused you or others pain. You have a unique opportunity in everything you do to act in a positive way that brings growth, peace, happiness, and positivity to yourself and those around you. You may be like me: you often know what you want to do, but feel stuck because you don’t know how. If you’re struggling with the how, that’s where therapy can help. We’re here to guide and facilitate your growth, to equip you with the tools you need to make the changes you want to make.
Outside of therapy, there are simple tools you can employ to help you on your journey. You might journal each evening about the decisions you made throughout the day. Use it as an opportunity to reflect. How did you act towards others? Which course did you choose? Did anything happen that set you down a path or changed your course for the day? Often, I find that one conversation, which may be insignificant to others, can change the direction of my day. It might even be one simple meal. Did what you ate cause you to feel lethargic, and impede your mental acuity in the afternoon? Did you have too much caffeine (yes, you can have too much?
Every action, every decision, and every moment. They are all opportunities for growth and change. They are all chances at a new beginning. Don’t pass them up. We are here to help you on that journey. Feel free to reach out to our intake coordinator and we’ll get you set up with someone who can help you today.